Stress Management starts on the inside

Being an HR leader and working parent has not always been easy, and looking back, it is a long journey of many potentially stressful situations, both in my professional and private life. I have learned to surf on these waves by choosing, again and again, to take the difficult path by saying yes to challenges outside of my comfort zone in line with my personal beliefs and goals and by reflecting on what I have learned from each situation. Not only do I grow my professional skills by doing this, but I also develop my life skills and positive mindset along the way, and I still learn each day from each situation and others. When I fall “off my board,” I evaluate, get back up, and try again. 

I believe stress is our response to what happens, not what happens to us. Choose wisely and act accordingly. Stress management starts on the inside, not with outside circumstances or others. Others might trigger you, but the better you become aware of what is really important for you and what triggers you, the better you can make conscious decisions in difficult situations—resulting in less stressful feelings and reactions.

How is it possible that some people seem to experience stress more often or in a more negative way than others? We all have triggers for emotional reactions and feelings of stress. The better we become aware and conscious of our triggers, the better we can heal them and grow. When you experience stress, think it through: Why do you get triggered? What do you feel at this moment? Where is this feeling coming from? What can you do differently? I see this as part of life’s mission to find and heal these triggers to become the best version of ourselves, both in our professional and private lives. Do not hesitate to contact a professional coach or sparring partner who can help you find your triggers. Talking through difficult situations gives clarity and direction, and you learn a lot about yourself and what choices you can make for the better. 

In many cases, stress highlights topics you need to address: are you doing what you truly believe you should be doing now? Are you living up to your own expectations instead of those of others? Are you safeguarding your own boundaries by choosing a clear yes or no?

"I believe stress is our response to what happens, not what happens to us. Choose wisely and act accordingly"

Of course, life can be challenging in many ways. Throughout the years of my professional life, I have worked with all kinds of people on different levels, seeing them experiencing stressful situations. Some suffer from stress and blame others and the world outside of them for being unable to escape a negative spiral. Others are experiencing stress but are finding their way and becoming more aware and stronger. Luckily, I have seen a lot of people handling stressful events in good ways and becoming more resilient on the way. Some even handled potentially highly stressful situations simultaneously at home and at work, them being an example of navigating life’s challenges. Say yes to what is most important at the moment, say clearly no to less important requests, choose between private and professional challenges, and combine these so both do not fall, or clearly choose one or the other. These “life surfers” were in highly demanding and challenging circumstances, but what they all had in common was a positive growth mindset and making clear choices in line with their values, beliefs, and goals. They were looking inwards instead of outwards and acting consciously. 

In many stressful situations, there can be a mismatch in expectations. Do not get caught up in expectations, roles, and rules. Only expect the best from yourself and act accordingly. Do not forget that your steps are part of a learning journey that gets you closer to your life’s goals. As you learn, grow, and become wiser, the goals might change, and that is OK: remember, you can choose how you respond to what is happening in each moment. Even when the circumstances are challenging, you can choose how you react to them. Be conscious of your triggers. Take good care of your body, mind, and spirit: when you feel stronger, you can handle difficult challenges that come your way much better. And maybe those challenging situations might not lead to stress but to experiences leading to personal growth: becoming a “life surfer” yourself and an example for others.